I Really Want It

Colored hair is something that has always amazed me. I am enchanted by all the hair colors that you can dye it, the more unnatural of color the better for enchantment. What amazes me is that some people are so against dying your hair a certain color or any color besides your natural tone. Some people get a confident boost from having an odd color. Some people just want to have different hair. Some people just want to try something new. And on the idea of trying something new here is the quote of the day/week:

"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember amateurs build the ark, but professionals built the Titanic."
      -Unknown

Trying something new is part of life. Doing the same thing over and over is too, but it's not fun. The color I really really really want to dye my hair is pastel blue kinda like the pictures below, just not the one on the far right too much.

Picture from: Love This Pic

I think that this color is a very nice light color for summer. The only problem is that my Dad won't let me dye my hair. I think . . . no I know that it would be a good experience for me, or anyone for that matter, to have dyed hair when they are younger so that when they get older they know if they really want to do it. I have been wanting to dye my hair an unnatural color for a really really long time and now that I found a color I'm totally in love with, I'll do anything for my Dad so he let's me dye my hair this color (with in reason of course). 

As of right now my hair is a blonde (in the picture below) and it would be fun for a change, just for the summer. I know my hair color isn't horrible or anything, I just want to try something new.

Pic from me of my hair

I know that is is a big change, but it I really want it. Only if my Dad would let me dye my hair that amazing color. What do you think about hair colors?

One Half to Another Half

Soulmates . . . an idea that is not widely talked about anymore, and I can't understand why, no I lied I can. The concept of a soulmate, of a person that is made just for you, is extraordinary. A lot of people are alone in this huge-wide-world right now. What would happen if they find their soulmate? Would they not be alone anymore or would they feel even more lonely when their soulmate is not around them?  What would happen if they found their soulmate too late?

Picture source: The City of Shamballa.

"According to Greek Mythology, humans were created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power,  Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves."
      - Plato

Zeus, a greek god, feared humans so much, he split us
up making us go searching for our other half for our whole life.  I know that that is just a story that can be true or maybe isn't true. Who knows? All I know is that I think it is a good way to explain soulmates. Or another, more scientific, way to explain them is that their particles/atom things where next to each other the time that the big bang happened.

Stories of werewolves and their mates are interesting and a fast read, for me. Something about the concept of having a person made just for you, someone to love and perfect you, just makes me have some hope in this world for now.

I don't know about you guys, but i believe in soulmates. I believe and hope that everyone finds their soulmate. Do you believe in soulmates?

Picture from: Soulmate Signs 

Music Lesons

I’m going to try and do something a little different, and instead of always having a quote from a person (known or unknown) I am going to put songs and the parts that are important to me and that I think have a deep meaning.

First up - “Without Walls” by, the amazing band, Memphis May Fire. The first two lines of the song are:

“This is who we are! These are the roads we paved. The strength we found and the mistakes we made along the way.” 

Not only does his voice sound heavenly, but the song lyrics are strong and seem like they can hit home with anyone, almost. Those lines are saying that the way you are is they way you are and you made yourself they way you are. The strength was found you weren’t born with it and the mistakes are there but they are not the most important thing. 

The rest of the short one minute and 40 some odd seconds are amazing and I love all of it. You really should listen to it for your self, and tell me what you think? (Be warned there is some screamo in the song)

Picture source: Confront Magazine 

Second song and the last one - “Face Down (Album Version)” by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. This song is amazing! For some people it hits some a little more than others, because it’s about abuse. (Kinda funny story my competition-karate-team-captain thinks this song will be great for when we teach the self defense seminars [they are mostly for abuse victims]). I have two different sets of lines I want to share with you today. First:

“A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect. Every action in this worlds will bear a consequence.”

It’s very very true. One little thing makes an effect that will stay for a very long time. Forgetting your Chapstick for a day, can lead to having capped lips. Capped lips can lead to irritation. Ect. and ect.. Then the action part is just reinstating the ripple effect. Second set of lines:

“Face down in the dirt, she said ‘I’m fine.’ She said, ‘I finally had enough.’”

It says that you can only take so much before you decide that that is enough, and that it’s finally time to stop. In the case of abuse victims they don’t think anything is wrong for a long period of time, and when they do figure out that something is wrong they blame themselves for the way their partner treated them (yes it doesn’t have to be a partner, it can be a parent, I’m just going off the song). Just give this song a listen, trust me it is well worth your time. 

Picture from Altpress 

I’ll tell you the truth and say I really enjoyed doing this. Let me know if you want me to do this again or if you want me to go back to the just quote part. Well I hope you have a good day and sleep the night away! Bye-bye!! 

His Name Was Zander

Today I have a post that isn't really about a quote per say, it is more about what people should know right now. I was just on Tumblr and I found out a 15 year old boy killed himself on the 15th of this month. On his grave his name isn't written; a name that he didn't believe in anymore. Sandra was written on his grave, not Zander. He was a trans boy and he was a shining light. I heard a story were he was very physically thirsty and he grab the first thing he could find, chocolate milk. He drank two glass and then he freaked out, because he was allergic to milk (not highly allergic, but allergic non the less).

He couldn't stand to be in a world where his parents and his school couldn't accept the fact that he was a male. They think that if you are born a girl than you stay a girl and you can't change that no matter what. I don't understand people who are co closed off to the point where they tell people that they are useless if they are not they way they are expected to be.

A good friend of mine, that is religious, said that god makes mistakes. Something just didn't work out when people who are transgender, but there is nothing wrong with them. If god can kill thousands of people then maybe he can afford make a mistake with something as simple as gender once and a while.

Form his obituary

You really should read all of the text form his obituary. Not only does it say the wrong name, it also says that there were survivors! He killed himself! There wasn't a plane crash or a house that caught on fire! He killed himself. How can there be survivors?

If you have a tumblr please do look at the tag 'his name was zander'. Don't forget him. He was a boy who loved space and who loved anime. 

What I don't understand is that Leelah blew up the internet within a couple of days. But Zander's death has only a few people who know about him. 

His name was Zander Mahaffey.

Picture from 2 Paragraphs 

Falling Down . . .

I have had a lot of people that know my story say that they are surprised that I'm still smiling to this day and the fact that I brush it off is amazing. Well here's the truth I can't brush it off anymore. It's piled so high that I can even start to graze the top while brushing. But here is the thing when I was young I learned that life is not easy and not a beautiful place all the time. I have had someone tell me that I don't know how dark the world is and that I'm too innocent to understand it. I will tell you this right now: I know more about how dark the world is than I do about how music effects different people.

"Falling down is part of life. Getting back up is living."
      - Unknown

I know first hand how hard it is to keep getting back up and how hard it is to keep living sometimes. But here is the thing if you give up you will never see what is in store for you at the end. Yes, I understand that I don't know what bullying feels like or what it feels like to have no one at your side. But I do know what it feels like to not be wanted in your "home" and to be yelled at for something you didn't do. Not terrible I know, but I can see where most of you come from and that is all I need and want.

I know that giving up seams like the best choice; you won't have to worry about what they say or how you act around them. All you have to worry about is how much better their lives would be without you in it. I'm sorry to say this but you don't live their life, you live your life. Your life is yours. Don't worry about what they say or how it makes you feel. Heck, take it in for a second knowledge it, if it is helpful retain it, if it is harmful throw it out like the trash it is.

This is a lesson I am learn myself right now. I'm learn to just keep the helpful comments and throw out the bad ones. It is a hard lesson to learn and a hard lesson to practice. How about we do this journey together? So neither of us is alone.

I know I'm going to keep heaving my body off the cold hard ground and get back up. I know that no matter how hard life gets I will not stop living (well until my time has come). For some reason this song started playing and I thought it is very interesting and is worth your time and it has a lot to do with this.

 Picture form Maria Mar


ps just a reminder that darkness can be beautiful too

Moments Create Memories

On Friday I went to a concert . . . Pierce the Veil and Sleeping With Sirens concert, but that isn't what this post is about. It's about the bands they had touring with them. Mallory Knox and Pvris. Just a side note, Pvris choose to have the v be like an upside down a, which I find really cool, so their name is really just paris, but spelled way cooler. I really enjoyed listening to them, they were both so much better than I though they would be. Poor Mallory Knox came on first so the crowd wasn't as pumped up as it was for Pvris, or it could just be that PVRIS has a girl singer and the crowd was mostly guys.

I must say that the whole concert was a night to remember, from running into one of my friends form camp to almost getting dragged into a mosh pit to finding new bands to listen to. That night is something I will hold close till I die.

"We don't remember days, we remember moments."
      - Cesare Pavese

My friends and I after the concert. Only two of them are older than me.

I won't remember how the day started out. I won't remember what classes I had that day. But I will remember the moments I shared with my friends during the concert. I will remember how happy I was to finally be inside of the building and not outside in the cool air in a tank top. I will remember how my throat hurt from singing and scream with the songs and how my feet killed me after all the jumping I did. Waiting for about 15 minutes for Pierce the Veil to come one. But the thing is that they will all be found memories that I don't ever want to forget.

I really want to know what memory you hold close. Is it a bad one or is it a good one? I really hope you don't hold the bad memories close. Hopefully you only can hold the good ones close. If you hold the bad ones close I hope they help you some how, don't really know how that may be, but they could help you.

Life is just a bunch of day all in a row that don't seam to make a whole lot of sense. Some days are almost identical to the other ones. But some . . . but some are so strange that they create moments that are amazing and that you don't want to forget at all. I know I have some of them. What are yours? What are the memories that you wouldn't ever want to forget?

The People . . .

I almost forgot all about this quote, till one of my friends showed it to me.

"The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do."
      - Anonymous

Picture source: Logo Noesis 

We all have that one friend that is always happy, or one friend that is so kind it will be the downfall of them.  Or maybe that one friend that you go to when you need help on something, no matter how small it may seam to you. I love those friends, they seam to always be there for you. But, it is really scary to see them mad or sad. Personally hate seeing, any, of my friends anything but happy and content.

Photo source: City of Lethbridge  

I will say this one thing about being alone. You don't have to be alone, like physically alone, to be alone. All you have is to feel alone. Hades, sometimes I'm in a crowded party or school event and I feel more alone then I do alone in my room. Being kind isn't just about helping people that need help, it's about helping anyone you can any way you can. Even if it is just being on the phone with them when they just need to have someone there.

Picture source: Loner Wolf

The smile that shows through the tears will always be the brightest to me. I don't care why they are tears, happiness, sadness, or another emotion, it will be beautiful. I don't understand why the smile seams brighter than normal, and I don't think I ever will. Doesn't the smile seam brighter when there is tears involved? Or maybe it seams brighter, because you see their strength shinning through?

Wise people are hard to find now a days, but when you do find them and find out their back story it is usually one of pain and hatred. They learn from their past and then pass on the wisdom that have learned. They are usually some of the easiest people to talk to.

All these different types of people and they tend to have one thing in common. They don't want you to feel they way they feel, so they will try to protect you from everything they can.

Random thing: A song that goes well with this quote, in my mind, is Goodbye Agony by BVB.